Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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