After last night, I could never be a politician.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
