I bet he comes in French.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
