yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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