They should really pass out barf bags in church
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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