I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
