i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
