Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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