i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
3 2 1 whiskey
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
