the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
