So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
