im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
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kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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