I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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