i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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