whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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