Your tits are I can't wait for
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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