i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
