is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
