Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
