cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
the raccoons are back...
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