tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
