The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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