I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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