Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize