I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
