i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need to calm my uterus...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize