I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
