It's Friday. Sex?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.