Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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