You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Let's paint friendship bongs
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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