Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
