Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
