if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
