my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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