We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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