"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
