so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
