Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
