moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You took a bar mat shot.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
