there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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