At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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