The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
