Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
