Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
