We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
