i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Boobs speak an international language.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize