You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
