Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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