I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
