Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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