dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
