He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
