i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
