Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm at about main and main street
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
