the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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