I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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