it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
