seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize