how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
