i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
