4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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